this week on tv #3

• the ultra annoying lady boys of the a-list: new york prove yet again that they can still be as obnoxious as ever and send all homosexuals spiraling back another twenty years with their catty pettiness. austin gets into a tiff with his hubbie after flirting with reichen too much and newcomer nyasha has difficulties choosing the right girls for her runway show.
• the ice king participates in a wizard battle on adventure time with finn and jake, only to cheat his way through the ranks in the hopes of earning the prize: a kiss from princess bubblegum. everyone's favorite cartoon hero boy and his canine pal save the day (natch) and finn even gets to reap the very tasty rewards!
• chelsea handler brings the big laughs (as per norm) on chelsea lately with discussions of such varied topics as a cop having sex on the hood of his car and a republican taking a picture of his ass with his cheeks spread apart.
• bender becomes as powerful as a god on futurama when cubert tweaks his programming to omnipotent levels. meanwhile, fry and leela contemplate the future of their relationship.
• on the season finale of the green room with paul provenza, comedy legend eddie izzard is joined by a variety of no-names to discuss numerous topics, make inane movie references, and tell mean jokes.
• super flaky elizabeth gets cut on hell's kitchen after losing her cool for the second dinner service in a row. the remaining five contestants are rewarded the coveted black aprons.
• g.p. and the fergs are up to their typical tomfoolery on the late late show with craig ferguson. kathy griffin stops by for a funny chat filled with sexual undertones about her upcoming plans.
• the designers on project runway visit an art school in harlem to paint a picture with a student. back at the workroom, they have two days to make an avant-garde look inspired by their paintings. bald mormon joshua c. is sent packing for the second time after throwing together sloppy pirate waitress garb.
• caroline's kids lame out on the real housewives of new jersey with their latest business venture: bottled water that is black in color. (i know, right?) teresa attends a book signing and her asshole of a husband gets uber drunk, slides on his belly across the floor, and chips his tooth.
• eric returns to his normal state on tru blood after sookie breaks the spell marnie had cast on him. meanwhile, hoyt sobs like a baby, terry stages an intervention for andy, and the vampires march towards the magic shop to destroy marnie once and for all.